Speaking of phases, we're in one now where Bubba will NOT be set down to nap in the mornings or to sleep at night before my husband and I go to bed. So I haven't had time to write posts, or do a lot of other things. I'm trying to look on the bright side - I'm doing some reading while I hold him for the morning nap. Shower doesn't happen, bills don't get paid, but I haven't had time to read in so long, it's nice. I try to time some afternoon naps for while we are out driving, the truck is one place he will sleep on his own, without a fight. I've been able to park and do some knitting.
But the evenings! We had a good run with a couple precious hours when my husband and I got to talk or just watch t.v. together before bed. Now they feature one of us holding the baby. He can't be left on our bed anymore, he is too active, even with barricades on both sides, he could go off the end, or wake up and crawl off the sides. Mattress on the floor is not an option due to downstairs neighbors. We tried and tried putting him in a nest on the floor of his room but he just won't stay asleep. And forget the crib, he has to be coaxed to stay asleep with a body next to him. He was waking up so much we decided to give it a rest for a couple weeks. I successfully set him down for a nap today, though, hooray.
But today was bad, really bad, Bubba was just so frustrated all day. And that nap? I worked and worked for it. It seems like this pattern keeps happening to me: I will be thinking "wow, I haven't broken down crying in a couple weeks" or "maybe I am ready to get pregnant again", and feel like I'm getting the hang of this. This time I have been actually feeling happy for a couple days; and the other day we went swimming without an enormous temper tantrum afterwards; and Bubba actually fell asleep next to me two nights in a row (he generally must be held to go to sleep, with kicking and fighting, except in the truck). Other than dealing with not being able to leave him on our bed, things were looking up.
And then WHAMMO! We'll have a day like today, featuring me crying about what a crappy mother I am because he just cranked and cranked on me all day, and I couldn't take it. I'm trying to figure out if I'm somehow making the bad days happen because part of me is too scared to have another baby, or if I just can't let myself be happy. Or maybe when I notice I that I've had some good "ups" I just need to realize there are going to be some "downs".
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(See my 6/28/07 post about why the comments look like this)
MommyKnows said...
Hi Janice,__You were probably just venting so I will say "I hear you"! All four of my children did some version of this behavior. I know what it is to sit with a sleeping baby in your arms and look around and see a million things that need done. You are just dying to do them, but are afraid to put the baby to bed in case they wake up!__Not sure you are wanting advice, but I can't help it. I have been here and know it's not fun!__All my kids always fell asleep eating, so when they are very little it was a cinch ... feed, fall asleep, lay down ... home free.__As going to sleep is a learned behavior, once they get a bit older they rely on us to hold/feed to sleep. They don't know how to wake up, roll over and go back to sleep. Basically, at about 6 months this becomes an issue. If they stir after being put to sleep they wake up and scream!__How to fix it ... let them scream ... really. You can pat his back, and lay him down. But you can't pick him up! It sucks ... It might last 45 minutes to an hour the first few times, it will get better and then after 2-3 days. He'll know what to do and your troubles will be over. __I did this with two of the kids!__With the other two, I couldn't hack it (different mental state I guess) and I let it go until about 2 1/2 at which time you are able to some what reason with them. It still wasn't easy and there was lots of crying, but by this point I didn't really care if they cried I was down right sick of it!__When they were screaming there heads off, I would remind myself that it was my responsibility to make sure they were healthy and happy and sleeping properly is a BIG part of this. It helped a little but not much, especially in the middle of the night. Had my husband not been on board to "make" me stay strong I don't know if I would have had the will power to follow through.__Whatever you decide, I hope it works for you :)
June 9, 2007 3:17 PM
Janice said...
Thanks for the support. __I've been grappling with letting him cry not feeling right at the moment versus knowing he needs to learn good sleep habits.__We make sure he gets his naps, and we have a night-time routine. I now read to him as the final act instead of nursing, because I didn't want him to equate nursing with sleep.__I think sleep is going to be our big thing, with slow steps. Our first big victory was his ability to realize he is tired, he reaches to me now. And he has started opening his eyes, looking around, and going back to sleep.__I keep telling myself it will be easier when he is older and I can reason with him, but I'm not going to count on it. He's as stubborn as I am!
June 9, 2007 6:14 PM
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